What's inside your head? Take the Chekhov Lizardbrain challenge!

1. When you first wake up in the morning, you've been known to think...

A. I miss my mommy.
B. Wow, that was a strange dream. Quick, let me jot that down in my dream journal.
C. More sleep, more sleep, more sleep…

2. You're at your local video store, and the clerk says you can rent a movie for free, but you have to choose one of the following. Which movie are you most likely to choose?

A. Steel Magnolias, the 1989 tear-jerker about the lives of a tight-knit group of Louisiana women.
B. The Science of Sleep, Michel Gondry's flick about a young man who can't control the fantastical plots and images of his dream world from intruding into his waking hours.
C. Supersize Me, Morgan Spurlock's documentary about eating nothing but McDonald's, yummy!

3. You're looking out the window from your home, wondering what you should do with the day, and you see three things. Which are you most likely to respond to?

A. A woman playing with a group of children
B. A teenager with a box of tools building something that you can't quite see
C. A man asleep in a lawn chair

4. You're going to the opening night of a new show by one of Philadelphia's coolest theater companies. Which is most likely to be a natural thought?

A. You are really excited that you're going with all five of your best buddies, you love human interaction.
B. You can't wait to discuss the play salon style with fellow serious theatergoers like yourself.
C. You find yourself wondering what kind of catering they'll have at the reception.

5. You're participating in a psychology experiment at the local college and you've been given a box of crayons, which you're very excited about. The doctor asks you to recreate your favorite image that you remember drawing over and over again as a child. Which of the following are you most likely to draw?

A. A family portrait with you in the middle
B. You'd write a story instead of drawing because unlike most little kids, you had a knack for language.
C. A big colorful picture of your favorite snacks like pizza, marshmallows and fruit roll-ups

6. You're standing at 15th and Market. Someone on the street comes up to you and gives you $100 that you have to spend in the 20 minutes. Which chain of events is most likely to happen?

A. You instantly start to feel really bad about your good fortune and give the money away to someone less fortunate.
B. You hit up Borders and buy Anton Chekhov's Complete Works, The New York Times, and a jazz box-set.
C. You stop by Naked Chocolate for some sweets and all-chocolate drinks, then you binge and get so full you need to nap and sleep it off.

7. You're out with friends and have to use the restroom. What is most likely to be your response?

A. You're inclined to ask a buddy to tag along because that's what friends are for.
B. You think, ‘Thank god I have to go, this conversation is really getting boring and I have nothing left to say.’
C. As soon as you realize you have to go, it's almost too late and you run to the bathroom like it's an emergency.

8. Upon hearing about a giant snow storm (at least 10 feet) coming your way the next day, which of the following immediate thoughts are you most likely to have?

A. You question whether or not you really want to be trapped in your home with whoever you live with.
B. You think you should definitely stop by the library and video store to load up on books and movies. Since you'll be trapped, you might as well be entertained and learn something!
C. You get to the grocery store right away for food and water.

9. If someone approaches you on the street and, without a weapon of any kind and no use of force, simply demands that you hand over your wallet, what would your automatic response be?

A. You become flustered with emotions and don't know what to do.
B. You quickly analyze the situation, realize there is no real threat and slowly back away.
C. You run away screaming.

10. It’s the first day of spring. What is most likely to be your response to the new season?

A. You have a lot of fond memories from past springs. You’re just happy that the sun is shining.
B. You’re ecstatic to begin yet another year of personal growth. Springtime is seen as a time of renewal, of new life being born, and of the cycle of life once again starting.
C. You could really care less and wish you could stay in hibernation for at least a few more weeks.

Tally up your score!

Give yourself 1 point for each A answer, 2 points for each B answer, and 3 points for each C answer.

10-16: You’re Dog Brained.

Don’t worry, it’s no insult! The scientific term for people with a mind like yours is really “paleomammalian brain.” This part of the brain is responsible for emotions such as connections between individuals, particularly between mother and child. It is also connected to memory and emotional behavior. Most dog brains are nice people who care about family and share a general interest in sappy movies.

17-23: You’re Human Brained.

Just because you think mostly with your “neomammalian brain” doesn’t make you better than the dog and lizard brains of this world. You’ve still got a little dog and pig inside that head of yours, we’re sure of it. The neomammalian brain contains all the wiring for symbolic thinking, self-awareness, ambivalence and language. So if you like to read, speak more than one language and consider yourself an amateur psychologist, then this is the brain category for you.

24-30: You’re Lizard Brained.

The “reptilian brain” controls breathing, sleeping, hunger, reproduction, and the startle response. Like most animals, you are very interested in physical survival and your behavioral responses are automatic and have a ritualistic quality. Basically, if you’re hungry, you eat up and if you’re tired, you take a nap and if you have to well, relieve yourself, you GO! You have a tendency to repeat the same behaviors over and over again and never learn from past mistakes, but at least you’re well-rested. Try adding a few more human brain thoughts to that noggin’ of yours.

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